功力

今天的插花班是夏天的最後一課，學的是池坊派的生花新風體（Shoka Shinputai）。生花新風體在七十年代形成，它與起源於明治時代後期的生花正風體（Shoka Shofutai）不同。正風體由真（shin）、副（soe）、體（tai）組成，講究花的放法，很多規矩。新風體由主（shu）、用（yo）、補（ashirai）組成，沒有正風體那麼多限制，比較現代一點。兩者都著重枝條重水平面伸出，可是概念上有異。

每次上課都覺得老師很厲害，頓然感到自己很渺小。上課時，我很專心地插花，可是，瞪住自己的作品，老是覺得欠了甚麼似的。每當老師走過來審查時，她不會把我的枝條通通拔光，可是她總會改這改那，給她碰過後截然不同，內心很佩服她呢，不知道何時才能有她的功力。我把我的作品稱為「整容前」和「整容後」：

「整容前」

本來的想法：以綠色大葉為主，藍色花球為用，紫色小花球為補，我覺得小花球就像有大樹遮蔭一樣逍遙自在。可是，老師認為紫色小花球不夠力去襯托綠色葉和藍色花‧‧‧

「整容後」

老師加了另一簇藍色花在後面，增加深度，然後用含苞待放的粉紅色百合花代替紫色小花球，把大葉捲一捲，嘩啦！好看多了。

戒指

今天看到cnn.com的一篇有關訂婚戒指的文章（節錄在本文最後），發現潮流興一卡或以上的訂婚鑽戒。沒有女人不喜歡鑽石，在辦公室，每逢有女同事宣布她訂婚的喜訊，其他的女同事馬上把她包圍，為了一睹那鑽戒有多大。

各處鄉村各處例，聽說，男人為了顯示他的誠意，肯花錢在訂婚戒指上，有些地方認為應花一個月的人工。在美國，規矩是兩個月的薪酬（到底是打入息稅前，還是打了入息稅後呢？差距很大的喔！）；在澳洲，俗例是二至三個月的薪金。也有人不用花錢，把代代相傳的古董婚戒，祖母、曾祖母那類的古董，送給未婚妻，感動非常。

在愛爾蘭，有款戒指叫Claddagh ring。這種戒指通常沒有鑽石，形狀由一雙手捧著個心，心上有個皇冠組成。雙手代表友情，心代表愛，皇冠代表忠誠，蠻有意思，我倒十分喜歡。戴戒指的方法，有不同意思：心尖向內（接近佩帶者的心）代表那人已經心有所屬，心尖向外代表那人還是單身，可以向她（或他）作出追求。

古人把Claddagh ring 當作訂婚戒指，因為他們相信，成功的婚姻基於友情、愛和忠誠。現代人，尤其十來歲愛爾蘭裔的，把它當作友誼戒指（friendship ring），意思是，一男一女還沒打算結婚，但想跟對方穩定地交往，於是送友誼戒指給對方。如果分了手，可以把心尖向出，back on the market，可以重新約會。

其實，無論訂婚戒指值多少錢，最重要的還是未來的日子過的幸福愉快。我看見過不少幸福環境好的女人，手上的訂婚戒指小得很，可能，經過一段捱苦的日子，生活質素後來調高了，可是，無論她們多有錢，有幾多首飾，手上還是戴著那原原本本的小戒指，沒有放棄它，想起來也覺得溫馨。

Ready to pop the question?
With engagement rings just getting bigger and bigger, now may be the time to bet on love and money.

July 26, 2005: 7:40 AM EDT

By Jessica Seid, CNN/Money staff writer

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Big rocks are in -- and I'm not just saying that because my boyfriend will read this.

The average price for a diamond engagement ring has hit an all-time high of $2,600, and while the one-carat diamond has become the standard in popular culture, even larger diamonds are quickly gaining steam.

Just ask Paris Hilton, who's sporting a 24-carat emerald-cut diamond engagement ring.

Sales of one-carat diamonds have jumped about 80 percent since 1996, according to The Wall Street Journal, and at luxury jeweler Cartier, where engagement rings start at a cool $4,000 and zoom quickly into the millions, big bling rings are more popular then ever.
…

被人聊

繼約十多年前，一生人第一次在一間文具店，被一個台灣來的麻省理工研究生搭訕後，每隔良久便有這類遭遇。對很多這種萍水相逢的人都可以敷衍了事，而他們便不會再在你面前出現，在你生命中從此消失。最難應付的，是那些基於日常生活需要而遇到的人，例如，藥劑師。

自從一年前拒絕了藥劑師的約會要求後，撒謊說已有固定男朋友，之後盡量避免在他值班時到藥房取藥。他這種行為令他的顧客（我）不安：知道我住在那裡，吃甚麼藥，有甚麼病，在那一家公司工作，用那一家保險公司，社會安全號碼（相等於香港的身份證號碼）是甚麼。這間藥房本是廿四小時營業的，現在我不可下班後去，只可以早上上班前去，不太方便。

從此，我把這件事當作一個挑戰，目的是──避藥劑師。多個月前，大概剛剛新年不久，碰到他，多口之餘，他要跟我握手。昨天，又要去藥房，走到櫃面途中，不斷禱告：「God, please don’t let me bump into him…」弊！沒應驗。他說：「好久沒見，那多好，就是說你沒病啦。你的『朋友』呢？」只有唯唯諾諾的回應，急不及待的等他給我藥便走。到底神想我在這件事學甚麼呢？

更加明白為甚麼跟工作上來往的人（包括同事，上司，客戶，等等）拍拖不恰當。拍得成還好，拍不合就麻煩了。我沒拍，也覺得諸多不便了。常常想，找個男性朋友客串，扮我的男朋友成不成呢？有時又想，我是顧客，為甚麼要花這麼多精力去處理這情況？！

Quizzes

I was intrigued by the title of this quiz, “Translating Man-Speak”, on ivillage.com about how well a woman understands what men really mean when they say something. So, I decided to take it, and it turned out that I am a Native Speaker (description as stated below).

Then, the title, “How Sexy is Your Style”, caught my eye. Took the quiz. My appeal was “subtly sexy” (again, description as stated below). What?! I have the same style as Jennifer Aniston?! I guess I believe it. I do not like to dress loudly.

Native Speaker

You must've grown up with brothers, because you've got guys decoded. Sure, men can be vague. But you've got a pretty solid handle on reading between those lines. So, what are the benefits of having honed this valuable skill set? Well, unlike a lot of women, you won't have to deal with as many mixed signals when it comes to dating -- not to mention fewer phone calls to your girls wondering, "Do you think he'll call?" You've got all that figured out on your own.

Now, how do you communicate with him in a way that he can relate to? Keep him guessing. Think about it. Men don't want to talk about your relationship. They just want to do it (in his mind, if he wasn't into you, he'd head for the door). Here's how he thinks: "If we need to talk about the relationship, it must be broken. If it's broken, it means it's doomed. I'm outta here." To men, actions speak much louder than words. It'll mean much more to him if you take an interest in his hobbies (rock climbing, anyone?), or if you make an effort to get along with his friends than any "talk" ever could.

Your appeal is that you're subtly sexy

While you may not be sending out a vampy vixen vibe all the time, you know when you look smokin', and it shows. Your clothes tend to be a bit more tailored, yet you know how to accentuate your positive assets.

You haven't been working out at the gym all this time for nothing. You love the high-end styles of designers like Michael Kors and Stuart Weitzman, but since money doesn't grow on trees, you have perfected the art of paring a pricey jacket back to a sexy halter top from the good old Gap. Learn how a pair of sexy shoes can also kick things up a notch for you. Here's your subtly sexy soul sister!

電視人物

偶然，人家會把我跟電視人物相比。例如，有人說我像老友記（Friends）中的Phoebe般童心未泯，認識我一段日子的人，漸漸發現我其實頗為頑皮。

最近，聽說我像Seinfeld 中的主角Jerry Seinfeld 一般的挑剔，嫌三嫌四。一個人追求完美不好嗎？

我不像Jerry Seinfeld 般有那麼多親密異性朋友。Seinfeld沒有一個長久的女朋友，他拒絕異性的理由很多，例如：男人手，用跌過入廁所的牙擦（又是他掉進去而不告訴人家的！），以為人家給他皮膚病，因為燈光令到人家不好看，平時看見美裸體，但一天看到醜裸體，等等。

我拒絕別人的理由才沒有他的那麼古怪：不同飲食喜好（非常重要），沒有紳士風度，大男人（在未賺取得到我的尊敬前），不英俊，不夠高，不獨立，不健談，沒自信，識少少，扮代表，悶男人，井底蛙，不懂交際，不誠實，囉嗦麻煩，自以為是，吝嗇，斤斤計較，貼身膏藥‧‧‧嘩！數之不盡！可能我真是Seinfeld 的女版本。

問路

一天，跟一位男性朋友去一個陌生的地方，我們不熟悉環境，在半迷失狀態時，朋友多次主動找人問路。突然間，我覺得很有安全感。遇過不少異性，以我主觀的看法，從他們對問路的態度，可以把他們分為幾類：

主動問路：這種人做每件事，都明白到自己的限度，具決斷力，主動要求他人幫忙，不拖泥帶水，勇於承擔，異常獨立，不會令他人擔心。這種人平時也會主動訂位購票，一點兒也不會令你操心。

半推半就的問路：這種人本身不會自動自覺的上進，但他會接受他人的勸告，尋求協助，只要你可以忍受他那踢一踢，動一動的性格，還算可以塑造。雖然比不上第一種人，可是，最後，還可以順利到達目的地。

自己不問，但指使其他人去問：到底這種人是因為自己怕丟臉，猶疑不決，怕負責任，還是太過自以為是，喜歡派遣他人為他代勞呢？若是前者，感覺上不大可靠；若是後者，再加上人家為他做完事後，還左彈右彈，嫌三嫌四，那就非常討厭了。

打死都不問：這種人異常頑固，自尊心作怪，一直想靠自己的能力來解決問題，做不了大事，除非你很有耐性，否則，跟他上路肯定爆血管。

Ask for Direction

One day, I went out with a guy friend to an unfamiliar place. Whenever we were semi-lost, my friend proactively asked others for direction. All of a sudden, I felt so safe and stable. I have met quite a few guys. Based on my opinionated view, from their attitude towards asking for direction, I can categorize them in to a few types:

Proactively ask for direction: this person understands his limits, is decisive, and feels comfortable asking for help. He assumes responsibility and is very independent. He does not worry others. He would also proactively make reservation, purchase tickets. He does not make you lift one finger.

Ask for direction upon request: this person is not as aggressive, but he would listen to others and asks for help. If you can stand him being passive, he is moldable. Even though he is not as good as the first type, at the end, you can reach the destination.

Tell others to ask for direction instead: I do not know if this type is genuinely shy, indecisive, afraid of taking responsibility, or if he is so arrogant that he likes to delegate. If he is the former, he is not quite dependable. If he is the later and he criticizes how others do the task, it would be extremely annoying.

Rather die than to ask for direction: this person is stubborn, has ego problem. He thinks he can solve all problems on his own. This person cannot do great things. Unless you have the patience, you are going to be extremely frustrated.

Ikebana – Shoka

One thing that I love about ikebana is that I can express my feelings. There are a lot of rules in ikebana. The length of each stem matters. The challenging part is to be able to express myself within a set of rules. This is a three specie shoka （生花）.

As stated in the whiteboard, there is only a certain area of the kenzan （劍山）to place the stems. Theoretically, when you face the front of the arrangement, you should only see stems coming out from one point in the center creating the in （陰）and the yo（陽）spaces. The tall branch of white mini gladiolas, the purple round shape flower, and the leaves on the right together constitute the shin （真）. The leaves on the left are soe （副）. The space on the left, where the soe is, is yo (or the sunny side). The shorter white gladiolas in the front are tai （体）. The space on the right, where the tai is, is in (or the shady side).

The white flowers and green leaves represent elegance and tranquility. There is also the occasional excitement in life signified by the purple round flower.

Excellent, Smithers!

My friend and I planned to meet up at the Prudential Mall then head out to the Red Sox game by taking the subway. I was afraid that the weather would not cooperate. When I left the office, the sky was very dark and was about to pour. When I was in Prudential, I even heard thunders. The weather report forecasted 36% chance of thunderstorm. In fact, there was severe thunderstorm warning until 20:00.

We were waiting in the Copley T station. The first trolley came. It was packed, and a lot of people wanted to get on. I saw him on that train. We broke up few years ago. Even though we live in the same state, we have never run into each other. I seldom take the subway. There I was, with another guy on the platform. He was on that packed train. My friend was trying to get on that train like others. I said, “Why don’t we wait for the next one? This one is too packed.” He agreed. The train doors closed. It took off. How symbolic.

I am not sure if he saw me. Even if he did, he might not have recognized me. I looked different from the days we dated. Instead, I recognized him even though he has put on a few pounds. One girl friend’s theory is that the guys with whom I have dated would gain weight after our splits. It could be a curse, an interesting curse. So far, our samples have been fairly consistent. I wonder what the probability would be for me to be taking the T and bumping into him. Minimal.

Finally, we arrived at Fenway Park. The weather turned out to be surprisingly nice. It was not as muggy as earlier. There was even a breeze. Ooops, instead of Toronto Blue Jay, it was Boston Red Sox versus Tampa Bay Devil Rays… We got excited with the crowd at various critical moments. It was a good game. We did the chant. We did the wave. We had hotdogs for dinner. One good thing about watching baseball in person is the atmosphere. It was a lot of fun. We left when it was 4 to 2 in the middle of the 8th inning. Red Sox was ahead, and they ended up winning.

All-in-all, it was an interesting day.

粗俗不來

小時候，曾經想像那些牛黃頭男孩子般酷，可以講粗俗不文話。可是，由於家教嚴勵，講粗口會被家人罵，又不能拿操行獎，尤其身為女性，講粗口貶低身價，所以，只有聽粗口的份兒。漸漸，我對滿口粗言穢語的人感到抗拒，覺得他們沒教養，沒文化，即使他們心地有多良善，我也對他們避之則吉。

舊男友們都有共識，不在我面前講粗口，不知道是他們本質溫文，還是著意尊重。在舊公司，我搞笑的帶來一個粗口罰錢罌，由我們的行政助理監管，誰講粗口便自動放錢進去。不過，危險人物（Pulp Fiction）這套粗口戲卻是我最喜歡的電影之一，我到戲院看上快十次呢。

只有自己非常憤怒，忍無可忍的情況下，才爆出一兩句粗來發洩。眾人皆知，我不輕易動怒，當我大發雷霆時，我會很惡。認識多年的人，每逢第一次聽到我講粗口都很震驚，眼巴巴的瞪著我，不知道如何是好。曾經，舊男友忍不住，哈哈大笑。因為我很在意，很努力的講粗口，講得很認真，可惜，詞彙有限，一點兒都不流利，就像便秘一樣。

最近，跟朋友們看電視播放的拳賽。我不懂看拳擊，於是便問男生們很多問題。其中一段對話如下：

我：「Do they count points or fight until another one cannot get up?」
友：「They count points.」
我：「How do they score?」
友：「If they hit the right area, they get points.」
我（意圖扮酷）：「Can they kick each other in the “nads”?」
友（大惑不解）：「Huh? … Did you mean the neck?」
我（哎呀，不是這樣叫嗎？紅著臉）：「No, er… um… the… the balls!」
友（恍然大悟）：「Oh! No, they cannot kick each other in the nuts. It is not allowed.」

然後，男男女女哈哈大笑，真尷尬。

A Bench at Brookline Reservoir

The weather was nice, and I drove by the Brookline Reservoir (mentioned in an entry back in May titled “Brookline Reservoir”) on the way to Boston. Spontaneously, I decided to stop and to find that particular bench that I adored. Five years ago, a friend and I walked around the reservoir for the first time. The bench was brand new. There was yellow tape around the new bench set on the concrete. I took a picture to include in the album to give it to my friend as a parting gift.

The bench aged. On it, there are two plaques. The wordings are not as visible as five years ago, but they speak a lot.

“IN LOVING MEMORY OF
DR. MARK H. RAPAPORT
HE LOVED WALKING HERE WITH LEA”

“DEVOTED HUSBAND AND FATHER
HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR
PROUD CITIZEN OF BROOKLINE”

Cubicle

I suppose we do not need to read the “Do’s and Don’ts of Office Cube Décor” on CNN.com to understand how cubicles can portray ourselves in the workplace.

I used to have half of a corner office at my old firm. The last few days before I left, I packed two to three boxes of personal items accumulated through out the years. I was amazed at how much stuff I had in the office. There were framed pictures, toys, knickknacks with company logos (my own firm’s and my clients’), decorations, piggy bank, swear jar, alarm clock with a CD player, CD collection, dictionary, reference books, etc.

It has been months since I started at the new company. I have a cubicle. Due to the limited space, I have not yet decided what to put in my cubicle. So far, it is quite bare. My first priority was to put a rear view mirror on my monitor so that at least I knew who was behind me. I ordered a whiteboard. Then, I put up a paper calendar. There is a box of tissue on the desk. That is about all I have. Meanwhile, I have a new neighbor. As soon as he started, he put up pictures of his family. Such a family guy!

How do I want my relatively new colleagues to view me in addition to my work performance? I guess I can start lugging my reference books and dictionary to my cubicle. I am uncertain about bringing in my alarm clock with CD player. Playing music in a cubicle might be too disturbing to others. Oh my, I guess I am giving out an image of a conservative professional. Perhaps, I can frame some of my scenic pictures so that I can fantasize my tranquil paradise. Serenity Now!

棒球賽

在麻省，大部分人對棒球非常狂熱。波士頓紅襪隊（Boston Red Sox）與紐約洋基隊（New York Yankees）的擁躉更是水火不相容。以往，紅襪隊屢次進軍世界大賽（World Series），都給洋基隊打敗了。八十多年來，紅襪隊都沒有贏過，可是球迷老是死心蹋地的支持下去，甚至，有些阿公阿婆的心願，是能夠親眼目到紅襪隊勝取世界大賽！去年，紅襪隊終於打垮了洋基隊，實現了麻省多年來的夢想。有位朋友更把他剛出生的兒子叫醒，在電視機前照相留念，瘋狂極了。

早上收到朋友的電郵說，正在回美國途中，並邀請我下星期二去看紅襪隊對多倫多藍鳥隊 （Toronto Blue Jay）的棒球賽。奇怪的是，看棒球賽不是我們的首選活動，皆因我們都不是棒球迷：我在研究院唸書時，最怕看到那氣船在學校附近的Fenway Park球場上空盤旋，每次紅襪隊在波士頓比賽，上學時要找泊車位便難過登天，朋友的車子在去年更被那班上街狂歡的球迷破壞。也許，朋友的朋友送他門票吧。

最初接觸棒球是看安達充的日本動畫── Touch，當年風靡一時，很多男同學放學後便回家追卡通片。然後，大學畢業前，同學們說：「我們住在Fenway Park隔壁這麼多年，還沒有看過一場球賽，真丟臉！」於是，一塊兒去看紅襪隊對藍鳥隊，奈何，坐在觀眾席淋雨，球賽最終取消了。怎樣看棒球是舊男友教的，但是，我到現在還不懂得全部規例。對上一次看球賽大概是五六年前，公司有All Star Game的折扣票，有好座位，於是double date，可是我們兩個女的卻是為了看那英俊可愛的馬特‧戴蒙（Matt Damon）和凱文‧科斯特納（Kevin Costner）！

看來，這次我會正正經經的看一場球賽，希望是精采的一場，也希望天氣好，好久也沒有戶外活動了。突然間，想起一套關於紅襪隊的戲：極度狂熱（Fever Pitch）。

火車意外

今天嫂子給我看一則新聞報導：

CBS 2 Investigates: Scare On The Rails
Jul 11, 2005 6:26 pm US/Eastern

NEW YORK (CBS) CBS Investigates has learned that shortly after the London terror attacks, there was an explosive scare on an Amtrak line, impacting a train on the way to New York from Boston.

這不是我在美國國慶那週末乘搭的火車路線嗎？再次證明，上天眷顧。這樣的故事在我身上發生不少，每次我都平安無事。果然天下無敵！

問侯

突然間，感到自己很幸福，關心我的人很多。知道我病的親友們，都跟我問安。清晨起來，收到遠處來的電郵，劈頭第一句就問：「好些沒有？」然後才說正經事。相識多年，這個粗枝大葉的人，老是趁我不為意，對他毫無要求的情況下，突然說出感動的話。

這樣作為一天的開始還不錯嘛！

Lyrics - I Feel Pretty

A song from Westside Story (but I heard it first in the movie Anger Management):

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy!
…

Hello~ Good Looking

Based on the article stated below, a person’s good look matters in his/her career - one more reason to keep ourselves in tip top shape.

In addition, Tiziana Casciaro at Harvard Business School has recently published a study called, “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools, and the Formation of Social Networks” (description as stated at the end of this entry). How would you categorize yourself in a workplace?

Let’s look yourself into the mirror and think about which category you are in. Suddenly, I have an urge to march into my boss’s office. I definitely deserve a raise!

Do pretty people earn more?
CNN.com – July 08 7:19 AM

Studies show attractive students get more attention and higher evaluations from their teachers, good-looking patients get more personalized care from their doctors, and handsome criminals receive lighter sentences than less attractive convicts. But how much do looks matter at work?

The ugly truth, according to economics professors Daniel Hamermesh of the University of Texas and Jeff Biddle of Michigan State University, is that plain people earn 5 percent to 10 percent less than people of average looks, who in turn earn 3 percent to 8 percent less than those deemed good-looking.
…

Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools, and the Formation of Social Networks

Description:

When looking for help with a task at work, people turn to those best able to do the job. Right? Wrong. New research shows that work partners tend to be chosen not for ability but for likeability. Drawing from their study encompassing 10,000 work relationships in five organizations, the authors have classified work partners into four archetypes: the competent jerk, who knows a lot but is unpleasant; the lovable fool, who doesn't know much but is a delight; the lovable star, who's both smart and likeable; and the incompetent jerk, who...well, that's self-explanatory. Of course, everybody wants to work with the lovable star, and nobody wants to work with the incompetent jerk. More interesting is that people prefer the lovable fool over the competent jerk. That has big implications for every organization, as both of these types often represent missed opportunities. Lovable fools can bridge gaps between diverse groups that might not otherwise interact. But their networking skills are often developed at the expense of job performance, which can make these employees underappreciated and vulnerable to downsizing. To get the most out of them, managers need to protect them and put them in positions that don't waste their bridge-building talents. As for the competent jerks, many can be socialized through coaching or by being made accountable for bad behavior.

「排骨仔」與「孱仔強」

在青年會游泳池更衣室，小姪女一看到已穿上泳衣的我便大叫：「姑姐排骨仔！」大姪女隨之附和，跟著大家哈哈大笑。平時因為大小姪女吃飯不正經，不長肉，笑稱她們為「排骨仔」。那天給她們看到姑姐身材瘦削，童言無忌，輪到我被嘲笑了，尷尬萬分。簡直是經典 moment！

一直不怕肥，大吃大喝。大概因為生活繁忙，工作壓力大的關係（正面有挑戰性的壓力，每天早上起床我都期待上班），怎樣吃也不肥，自己把這看作恩賜。最近朋友們每次見到我，總贈我一句：「你又瘦了。」沒有磅過自己，但是一天竟然發現衣服的尺碼小了。本身有個乳名叫「豬仔Ｘ」，是否潛意識覺得豬仔長大了，足磅了，便會被捉去劏去賣，所以不長肉呢？生存本能嘛，不想變煙肉。

不知道「孱仔強」這名詞從那兒來。「孱仔」又何來「強」呢？幼稚園時代，身子弱，常常病，常常缺席，家長要求班主任把我調位，遠離風扇底。每次病了，母親怕我不肯吃藥，都會買玩具來賄賂，正所謂小病是福，有部分的玩具就是這樣得來的。哈哈。可是，現在病了，沒有人照顧，還要掛念著公司的一堆工作，很討厭。只好在床頭放著一個有甘和茶的 French press，自沖自飲了。

Platter

Temmoku and transparent copper

對白

女：「你何時變得這麼知情識趣的？」

男：「其實拍拖並不難，若是大家花了兩三年時間，然後還是分手收場，我就不想做。」

女：「那我也不想。」

惡夢安琪兒

大家都有發惡夢的經驗，歷年來我也有不少：被怪獸追，從高處跌下，斷手斷腳，被刀插，被槍擊，被水淹，被鬼壓，考試拿零雞蛋，撞車，有說不出口的恐怖情境，也有跟自己親近，所愛的人吵架，又或者給他們不抽不睬，冷漠的對待，甚至離開自己，等等，數不勝數。幸好還沒有落地獄，給火燒。是否很詫異這個跳蹦蹦，笑容滿面的人，竟然有這麼黑暗的一面呢？

很多時候，惡夢醒來都是滿頭大汗的，有時甚至哇哇的哭著醒。小時候，跟家人住，若知道我在發惡夢，他們會叫醒我。大學時在宿舍，同房莉莎會叫醒我。有男朋友的時候，他們也會從惡夢中勇救我出來，不然，我醒了以後，會埋怨他們，罵他們不夠溫柔體貼呢！當然他們都會吶喊無辜，投訴我無理取鬧啦。

在探哥哥一家的期間，發了一個夢，夢中一個心愛的人聽不到我在對他說話，那人沒有面孔，只覺對他蠻熟識的，無論我怎樣叫他，他也沒反應，照樣走路，越走越遠，有點兒像Bruce Willis 的Sixth Sense 一樣，莫非我死掉了？！又或者他當我死了？！那種孤單的感覺真要人命，覺得自己蠻可憐的。

正當自己不知所措的時候，遠處聽到小姪女的聲音：「姑姐！姑姐！」掙開眼睛，小姪女站在床邊，嬌嗲的說：「姑姐早晨！」第一時間爬到床沿把她攬緊，在面上給她很多個吻，說：「Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!」兩歲的她莫名奇妙，她又嬌滴滴的說：「You are welcome.」其實，她只是想我陪她和家姐玩。

美國國慶週末趕火車

美國國慶的週末與哥哥一家人渡過。美國國慶也是哥哥的生日，兄嫂問我有沒有興趣過去探他們，答案當然是「有」啦！我有兩個好乖巧的姪女，大的四歲，小的兩歲。她們常常都姑姐前，姑姐後的，非常活潑可愛兼鬼馬。每次到哥哥家，都會帶些富教育意義的玩具跟她們玩（堅決拒絕買Barbie！）。

上星期五，預計乘撘下午五點五十分的火車，到哥哥新澤西州的家去。每逢在美國國慶前後，路上交通會變得非常繁忙，平時可以用四十分鐘便到達一二八號公路的火車站，要加倍時間。基本上，要到那裡去也要預多一點時間。

在公司，看著我的時間表，下午只有一個兩點鐘的會議，三點鐘便應該完了。誰知，為了作一個決定，拖到四點三十分才散會，我有份多口，不能怨人。然後，好像走佬一般：急急的把週末要看的文件，一一的存到Flash Drive 去，滾滾的向樓下跑，啟動車子引擎，開了收音機聽交通消息‧‧‧

果然，在公司旁的麻省四九五號州際公路大塞車，平常，由四九五號州際轉九十號州際，再轉一二八號公路才到火車站，怎辦呢？！靈機一觸，繞道而行：四九五號州際轉九號公路，再轉九十號州際，然後一二八號公路。到達火車站時只有十分鐘，火車便到站了，好險。

這班列車由麻省波士頓開出，途徑羅德島，康州，紐約市，新澤西，賓夕凡尼亞州，到首都華盛頓。曾經想過，下班後坐過夜火車，待白天到華盛頓逛，但又怕太累。車上有很多乘客，有的睡覺，有的看小說，看報紙，有的像我一般，在用電腦。可以看出，這些人都是下了班，放了學才動身的，一家大細的比較少。

列車駛到靠近紐約曼哈頓的Penn Station 時，突然煙花盛放，煙花在距離很近的地方爆發，紅黃藍綠的，異常美麗，想起一位舊歌星，蔡楓華的名句：「一剎那的光輝，唔代表永恆。」火車還是繼續要走。奈何，由於通著紐約和新澤西的隧道要修理，只開了一條軌，在曼哈頓的車站還要等上四十多分鐘才啟程到新澤西去呢。

晚上十點多才到達新澤西的車站，哥哥來接車，回到家，小女孩們已在熟睡中，安頓好已經是我們大人的睡覺時間了。用公共交通工具雖然慢，可是不用自己費神駕車，還可以在車上用電腦，在這方面卻省了時間。如果可以有科幻小說裡的輸送器，把我beam 到目的地就好了。