新鮮出爐Forever Friends

期待已久的Forever Friends 十一月號終於出版了！

感謝編輯的鼓勵，聊起我寫作的癮頭，令我鼓起勇氣投稿：

http://www.geocities.com/foreverfriends01ca/

去華盛頓看Bling Bling當舞女

Courtesy of My College Roommate

今趟到美國華盛頓，一方面與大學同房們一年一聚，一方面慶祝大家的生日，我們是三隻可愛的毒天蠍。行程較為休閒，因為其中一位同房剛剛搬到華盛頓，我們花一整天幫她選購傢俬，然後去購物。好久沒有買化妝品，難得有好姐妹們一起給意見，你一句我一句的，買了不少口紅。

去華盛頓，當然不能不去史密森尼博物館(Smithsonian Museums)啦。我們花了大部份時間在國立自然歷史博物館(National Museum of Natural History)看Bling Bling：「希望之鑽」(Hope Diamond)以及其他極其昂貴的寶石。珠寶首飾是女性的恩物，有時，倒想學珠寶鑑證。據說曾經擁有「希望之鑽」的人都多災多難，也許，它的命運就是留在博物館供人欣賞。

節目其中之一，我們約了另一位大學男生吃晚飯。這位好久不見的男生很喜歡跳搖擺舞(Swing Dance)，湊好這個週末在馬里蘭州的Glen Echo Park有個萬聖節化妝搖擺舞派對。派對前有一個鐘頭的入門班，我們女生不會跳，於是乎，一行四人飯後便去上堂‧‧‧

朋友教了我們一些基本步法，還有不少跳社交舞的規矩，例如：倘若一位男生邀請一位女生跳舞，女生拒絕他而應承另一位男生跳同一首歌，那麼，那位女生就很無禮貌了。可是，女生可因拍子太快為理由，有權拒絕男生的邀請。男生如果連續跟同一位女生跳超過三隻舞，那也被視為不恰當。如果男生在沒有通知女生的情況下，把女生拋高，那又是很無禮貌的舉動。

我手腳生硬，運動神經不好，可是，被邀請的次數頗多。每一次，我都要告訴男伴我不會跳舞，他們都樂於教導。雖然搖擺舞有基本步法，每一位男生的跳法都有點兒不同。那一位男生是老手，那一位男生是初哥，很快就看出來。總覺得，懂的跳舞的男生比較有紳士風度，其實，男生跳社交舞要花很多工夫和心思，不單要顧自己的步法，還要帶領女生，要決斷，不容易唷（咁先喺男人嘛）！

整晚，我就被人不停轉轉轉，雖然有點兒頭暈，可是覺得很好玩。搖擺舞不是我們爸爸媽媽那一代，年輕時跳的舞嗎？看到一些老年人跳搖擺舞，姿態優美，很可愛。我爸媽年輕時有沒有跳過舞呢？看到一些年輕人跳搖擺舞，把女伴向高處拋，少點力氣也不行。心想，如果我可以跳快拍子的搖擺舞就好了，不管找不找到男伴了，一於回到波士頓要學搖擺舞！

Travel Planning

Time flies. I fly. As I am typing this, I am heading down to Washington DC to meet up with my college roommates and to celebrate our birthdays. As mentioned before, autumn seems to be a busy traveling season. Since all the long term parking lots at the airport were full, I ended up leaving my car along with my keys at a privately run park and fly lot. It feels weird to leave the car keys with some strangers. At least, I took out my car registration and my transponder. Well, two extra things to carry…

On average, I travel somewhere once a month. I would be traveling internationally in a few weeks! Plane tickets and hotel accommodation were finalized four months in advance. Now, besides work, it comes down to the details such as:

1. Notify the financial institutions regarding my intention of using my ATM/credit cards overseas and the transaction fees. Otherwise, they might block the purchases in fear of fraud. Some companies charge more than the others. Therefore, there is a need to prioritize the payment methods and preferences.

2. Inquire about the internet access setup in the hotel. In addition, research the various Wi-Fi hotspots and fees.

3. Schedule necessary business/personal appointments overseas. Some require 14 days in advance.

4. Unlock my GSM phone and look into the prepaid mobile phone cards. In the US, most of the GSM phones are locked such that it is more difficult to switch between carriers.
Pay all bills. Clean home. Do laundry. Nothing is more depressing than coming back to a messy home.

5. Stop all the regular deliveries such as mail, newspaper, etc.

6. Make sure there are enough electrical outlet adaptors for the different types of equipment.

7. Even though a lot of the appliances have dual voltage, they still might not work due to the different outlets. It was a big lesson when I went to Europe. My laptop has a three prong plug and my regular adapters have only two prong.

8. Keep all medications current especially those not taken regularly. Those can be easily missed.

9. Have a list of useful numbers ready.

10. To be continued…

女人給男人的分數

與同事談起John Gray 的「Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus」，令我重讀這本書。其中有一章提到女人怎樣給男人分數，男人以為當他們為女人做了一件很大的事，他們會得到很高的分數，可是，女人給分數的方式卻是看男人為她們做了多少件事情，而那些事情不一定是大件事，可以是一些微不足道的事情。

身為女生，在一定程度上，我同意作者的論調，小小的事情可以令我很感激。很少男生可以從女生的眼神舉止知道她想怎樣，一生人中可能只能遇到一兩個。即使不是與一位男生拍拖，他的一舉一動也盡入眼簾，例如：

在街上一起走時，他有沒有讓女生行街裡面而他行在近馬路那邊；
見到地上有潭水，會否知道樓上滴水而叫女生行過一點；
一起吃飯時，他有沒有挾餸給女生還是自顧自吃；
晚上即使不送女生回家，他有否打電話看看她平安回家未；
大家決定去那裡吃晚飯後，他有沒有主動去訂位；
出外旅行或公幹回來，他有沒有通知人家他平安回來了；
見到女生拿著一包二包的東西，有沒有主動幫忙；
在郊外攀石時，會否伸手拉女生一把；
當女生有話說時，他會否耐心聆聽人家傾訴還是自吹自擂；
是否準時，即使遲到，會否預先打電話告訴女生；
知道女生病了，會否問安；
肯不肯問路；
記得女生說過甚麼‧‧‧

唔見得光

有白頭髮而又堅持不染髮的我（拖得就拖），滿以為只要能夠維持皮膚嫰滑，可以隱瞞自己的年歲。到現在為止，這個方法還行得通。不知道人家仁慈還是當真的，尤其在公事上，每每第一次見面都不能正確辨別我的年齡，直至在言談中才漸漸發現，我不是剛剛畢業出來工作的小丫頭。很多時候，正因這個關係，要花額外的精力去贏取他人的信任。上帝是公平的，所以我不介意。

自問不是一個喜歡戶外活動的人，對上一次曬太陽是去年春天與大學同房們到Miami的South Beach聚會，每逢曬完太陽，無論搽了多少防曬面霜，面上還是有類似雀斑的斑點。本身不介意雀斑，因為可愛的小甜甜（日本卡通人物，不是香港那個有錢婆）都有很多雀斑。做了個sun damage 的檢查，發現自己有輕度的sun damage。大件事！Sun damage 會導致皺紋，皺紋是老化的象徵。怎辦？！

在網上查考sun damage 的解救方法，提到的都是在早上十點鐘到下午四點中避免接觸太陽，搽防曬，藥膏，戴帽，戴太陽眼鏡等等。不過，十點到四點是辦公時間，那已減少很多了。唔，那麼做，豈不是像吸血殭屍般見光死？腦海中又呈現一個女人戴著闊邊大帽，大太陽眼鏡，白手襪‧‧‧Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis？！那又不錯（很喜歡她的妝扮）。可是，若要我一輩子不見太陽，唔制！ 代價那麼大。要見太陽便要晨運，老矣。

膽固醇藥廣告

最近，我做了一件事，令我想起輝瑞藥廠（Pfizer）膽固清（Lipitor）的廣告。廣告大概內容是一名漂亮的女人從豪華房車踏上紅地毯，風采迷人的她跟娛樂記者攝影師微笑揮手，突然間扭傷足踝跌倒。信息是說即使一個很苗條，表面上很健康的人，膽固醇亦有可能偏高。

在一個公司舉辦的健康展覽，做了各種不同的身體測試，例如膽固醇、糖尿、血壓、脂肪量、體重指數等等。展覽中有專人講解結果，他們說我一切的讀數都很好。根據他們派發的資料，總膽固醇如果低於200，心臟病發的危險程度較低。我很高興，於是立即致電郵給親友炫燿，務求惹他們妒嫉我的健康如牛！

誰知，親友陸續覆電郵說：「總膽固醇（196）算偏高嘛！」於是我就跟他們拗，說低過200就算好了。當然，結果是被他們說服了，差四點便到200，要盡量控制，不要超過200。但是‧‧‧一向我想吃就吃，不用節制，如果不准我吃這、不准我吃那，人生又有甚麼樂趣呢？冇得食，會好慘！唔制！！！

Hug!

I love big hugs with loved ones and close friends with whom I feel comfortable, especially those I love dearly. Sometimes, I even demand a hug. A hug can melt away a lot of stress. When I was in a long distance relationship, things I missed the most were the hugs.

Once, a guy jokingly complained that I had never given him a hug. At that time, I could not explain why. We saw each other quite often, but I had never thought of giving him a hug.

Recently, a friend of mine was engaged. At the end of a gathering, I gave a hug to her fiancé. He said, “Ah, now I get a hug. I suppose you are not afraid of giving mixed signals now.”

I feel safe hugging the significant others of my girlfriends because they belong to my girlfriends. I am cautious about not to mislead others. I avoid giving others unreasonable expectations. I guess these guys have a point. Am I that obvious about the selective hugging?

即時通訊

女：「喂，輪到我去旅行啦。」
男：「幾時去？」
女：「過兩天啦。」
男：「何時決定的？沒聽你提過。」
女：「昨天決定的。」
男：「你破壞了我的計畫。」
女：「甚麼？」
男：「原本想約你去街。」
女：「哈，可惜。Raincheck，okay？」

＊ ＊　＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

男：「旅行好玩嗎？」
女：「好，但現在病了。」
男：「怎麼啦？」
女：「感冒。」
男：「飲杯拔蘭地，倒頭大睡便會好。」
女：「嘩！甚麼樣的advice？！」
男：「家裡有沒有藥用蒸汽機？」
女：「有，但懶找。」
男：「不要懶了，回家找吧。」
女：「O－kay。」

＊ ＊　＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

男：「有沒有告訴過你，我喜歡跟你聊天？」
女：「沒有，但likewise。說起來，為甚麼你這麼得閒，不用做嗎？」
男：「噢！弊！開會遲到！拜拜。」

＊ ＊　＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

男：「你去旅行打算買甚麼給我？（自私的我）」
女：「買條伴娘裙給你。」
男：「對不起，問錯問題。」
女：「怎麼了，不喜歡伴娘裙？」
男：「任何有關結婚的東西都怕怕。」

＊ ＊　＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

男：「告訴你一件事，但你答應不要笑我。」
女：「Okay，甚麼啦？」
男：「下個月開始，我去學跳舞。」
女：「哈哈，一定是一位女生叫你去啦！那女生是誰？」
男：「告訴過你，我喜歡現在單身的狀況啦。如果那女生是你又作別論‧‧‧」
女：「‧‧‧學跳甚麼舞？」

＊ ＊　＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

男：「有沒有聽過＿＿＿？」
女：「沒有。對不起，我孤陋寡聞。」
男：「啊，我也是孤陋寡聞，那麼我們就是two of a kind 囉。」

日本花道──自由花

自由花對於我來說很困難，一向習慣從規導矩，不習慣天馬行空。自由花（jiyuka）沒有分真（shin）、副（soe）、體（tai）。自由花講求概念和構圖，每一個作品後面都有個故事。雖然自由花顧名思義是自由創作，但深度依然很重要，焦點也很重要。它的構想包括：自然式、圖案結構例如線條或圓形、抽象式等等。未學基本功以前，很容易把自由花當成花卉設計，可是花卉設計注重對稱而自由花則不需要對稱。


Ikebana – Jiyuka

To me, jiyuka is very difficult. I am used to rules. It is hard to create something without boundaries. There is no shin, soe, tai in jiyuka. Jiyuka stresses on concepts and shapes. Each arrangement has a story. Jiyu means freedom in Japanese. Even with its free form, depth and focus is still important. The concepts include: nature, shapes and forms such as lines and circles, abstract, etc. Before learning the basics, one might mix up jiyuka with floral design. Floral design looks for symmetry, but jiyuka does not.

自由花──「整容前」

這是自然式。構想是大風吹，高的兩朵黃花爭相躲避，又肥又矮的一朵黃花墮後，太過肥胖走不動。


Jiyuka – Before

This is the natural kind. The concept is wind. The two tall yellow flowers are running away from the wind. The fat and short one is trailing behind because it is fat.

自由花──「整容後」

老師說我的滿天星很害羞，滿天星應該四處伸展，挺起胸膛自信地告訴人家：「我很漂亮！」另外，高的兩朵黃花頭向下顯得喪氣，應該昂首面對大風。


Jiyuka – After

Teacher said that my baby breath is too shy. Baby breath should be extending and proudly tell others, “I am pretty!” Moreover, the two tall yellow flowers are facing down. They look discouraged. They should have their heads up bravely face the wind.

橙汁的熱望

我有飲橙汁的慾望，懇求過醫生很多次不遂，因為藥物的關係，橙汁內的鉀，如果在體內積聚過多，會導致死亡。與醫生講價，他才准我每天最多可以喝一吋高的容量（當時我還自作聰明的說會用一個大碗來裝一吋橙汁）。上回在拉斯維加斯，眼巴巴的看著朋友們喝橙汁而自己沒份兒，口水不停流，可是朋友們知道內情，不准我喝，很夠朋友。

禁令終於解了，因為進展良好，不用再吃那種藥，下個月開始，放監啦！從來沒想過，這麼小小的事情可以令我這麼興奮，有選擇不喝橙汁是一件事，沒選擇又是另一回事。當醫生告訴我這個消息，我立即笑容滿面，跟醫生連聲道謝。他很詫異的看著這個傻人，微笑道：「You have brightened up my day. It is a pleasure seeing you early in the morning.」

踏出醫務所，笑容燦爛，笑不攏嘴，打電話告訴朋友們這喜訊，心裡不停地想：橙汁、橙汁香檳、朱古力香蕉忌廉crepe‧‧‧噢！突然間覺得自己很幸福。一位朋友說下個月會送來一加侖的橙汁以及一瓶香檳，她要親眼看我飲光那橙汁香檳，期待，期待！回到公司，立即致電郵給另外一位朋友，約一個週末去吃「早午餐」，不管會不會肚子痛，吃了再算！


Craving for Orange Juice

I have a craving for orange juice. I have begged my doctor numerous times to allow me to have OJ. The medication that I have been taking retains potassium. Orange juice has a lot of potassium. If there is too much potassium in my body, I will die. I once negotiated with my doctor. He only allowed me to have one inch of orange juice a day. (At that time, I tried to out smart him saying that I would use a big bowl.) Last time in Las Vegas, I could only look at others drinking OJ. I was drooling. My friends knew about the medication, so they kept me away from OJ. What good friends I have.

The ban on OJ is finally lifted. Since I have had good progress, I do not need to take that particular medication. Starting next month, I am released! I have never thought that little things like this excite me. Having a choice to drink OJ or not is one thing; not having any choice is another. When my doctor told me the news, I immediately showed a big smile and thanked him many times. He was surprised by this silly person. He said it with a smile, “You have brightened up my day. It is a pleasure seeing you early in the morning.”

I walked out of the clinic with a big smile. I could not even close my mouth. I called my friends about the good news. I was thinking non stop about orange juice, mimosa, chocolate banana cream crepe… Oh! All of a sudden, I feel that I am so lucky. One friend said that she would send over a gallon of OJ and a bottle of champagne. She wants to see me drink the whole thing. I can hardly wait! Back at the office, I immediately email another friend to arrange a weekend brunch. Who cares about hurting my stomach? Let’s eat first!

晴天霹靂

朋友來電公司，告訴我一個秘密，一個關於朋友本身而又令我想而無奈不能在辦公室尖叫的秘密，我拿著電話筒呆著了，不能置信，拒絕接受聽到的消息，不停地問朋友：「吓？！不會吧？真的嗎？不要開玩笑啦。我不明白‧‧‧」頓時天旋地轉，呼吸急速。然後對朋友說：「我不相信，我要開電話會議證實這個消息！等等。」接駁到另外一個朋友那裡求證，該位朋友告訴我：「既然你已經知道第一手消息，為甚麼還來問我呢？」語塞。好像一個炸彈爆炸後，不知所措的模樣。接著，告訴兩位朋友：「我要掛線了，等我平靜些才打電話給你們。」

在公司走廊踱步，好像一個不知方向的人，想來想去也想不通，企圖用邏輯說服自己接受那段對話，安作很多理由，總覺得怪怪的，講不通，很迷惑。也許，我要學懂接受一些無法解釋的事物；也許，我要學會適應突如其來的消息。人生可能真的這樣不能預計，一向喜歡用機率來解釋，喜歡用decision tree 來列出各種可能性，現在竟然用不著。良久後，深呼吸，故作鎮定的覆電話給朋友：「好吧，告訴我logistics‧‧‧」雖然還不能理解，始終都要面對，不如就強逼自己接受現實吧。最後告訴朋友：「I need a drink.」

Are You Too Picky?

曾經多次，別人告訴我挑剔。在ivillage.com有個測驗名為：「你是否太過挑剔？」（按此去做測驗）。結果如下（正如別人所說！）

I have been told numerous times that I am picky. In ivillage.com, there is a quiz called “Are You Too Picky?” (Click here for the quiz) Here is the result (exactly like what others say):

Impossible to Please
You're choosy -- and I mean that as a compliment. You won't settle for a man who treats you with less than 100 percent respect or for a man whose ultimate life goals don't match yours. Since being alone isn't scary to you, you'll never be desperate enough to waste your time with someone who, while fabulous, will never commit. You know better. But, let's be honest, few mortals can fulfill every requirement on your very long checklist. (Does he really have to have dimples and part his hair on the left side?) No one is perfect -- no, not even you. Ditching the guy the first time he annoys you could really impact your love life in the long run. There is a difference between settling for someone you could never find attractive in a million years and adjusting your wish list into two categories: deal-breakers and preferences. For example, not wanting kids could be a deal-breaker for you. But a guy's only-average height might be something you can overlook. Are you still sure that dumping a guy who wears white socks with black shoes sounds more appealing than just taking him shopping for new socks? Imagine five years from now: Are you with a partner who adores you or are you too busy rejecting man number 1,003?

男生Round Up，女生Round Down？

從朋友中聽到有趣的見解：

如果一個男生跟一個女生約會三個月，他會告訴人家他們約會了半年；如果女生跟一個男生約會半年，她會告訴人家他們走了一月。

我會實實在在的說半年。那我是否不正常呢？

也許，這情況跟我不停對別人申辯：「一男一女單獨上街不算是約會。」相似：

舊同事關心的審問：「真的不是跟那男生約會嗎？」

我回答：「不是。」

舊同事又問：「那你與人家上街前有沒有化妝？」

我回答：「有。」

舊同事再問：「那你有沒有穿靚靚？」

我又答：「有。」

舊同事結論：「那就是約會囉。」

我跳蹦蹦的叫嚷：「不是約會啦！」

也許，那真的符合判斷約會的準則，但如果對方沒告訴我那是約會，打死我都不認是約會！


Boys Round Up, Girls Round Down?

I heard an interesting observation from a friend:

If a boy has dated a girl for three months, he would tell others that they have been dating for half a year; if a girl has dated a boy for half a year, she would tell others that they have dated for a month.

I would truthfully tell others half a year. Am I weird?

Perhaps, the situation is very similar to me telling others, “It is not a date if a boy and a girl go out alone.”

Ex-coworker caringly interrogated, “Wasn’t it a date with that boy?”

I replied, “No.”

Ex-coworker then asked, “So, did you put on make-up?”

I said, “Yes.”

Ex-coworker further asked, “Did you dress up?”

I said, “Yes.”

Ex-coworker concluded, “So, it was a date.”

I jumped up and down and yelled, “No, it was not a date!”

Perhaps, the situation really fits the criteria of going out on a date. If the boy does not tell me that it is a date, I would not admit that it is a date no matter how badly I am beaten up!

Lyrics – Mama, I’m A Big Girl Now

A song from Hairspray that I can certainly relate:

Don't contradict me! Don't disobey me!
Don't even think about going to that audition!

please!?
no!
mother!?

stop...
stop telling me what to do-o
don't...
don't treat me like a child of two-o
no...
I know that you want what's best
please...
but mother please....give it a rest!

(3x)
stop, don't, no!
please...

mama, I'm a big girl now!

Once upon a time when I was just a kid
You never let me do just what the older kids did
But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow
cause mama, I'm a big girl now! (Oh, Tracy!)

Once upon a time I used to play with toys...
But now I'd rather play around with teenage boys
So if I get a hicky please don't, have a cow!
cause mama, I'm a big girl now!

Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt
I got my best dancing lessons from yo-ou
You're the one who taught me how to twist and shout
Because you shout non-stop, and you're so twisted to-o
ooooo

Once I used to fidget cause I just sat home
But now I'm just like Gidget, and I gotta get to Rome
So say arrividicci, toodle-loo, and ciao!
cause mama I'm a big girl now!

oooo
(3x)
stop, don't, no!
please...
mama, I'm a big girl now!

hey mama....
say mama...

Once upon a time I was a shy young thing
Could barely walk and talk so much as dance and sing
But let me hit that stage I wanna take my bow...
cause mama, I'm a big girl now!

OOOOO!
Once upon a time I used to dress up Ken
But now that I'm a woman I like...bigger men
And I don't need a barbie doll to show me how
cause mama I'm a big girl now!

OOOOO
ma, you always taught me what was right from wrong
and now I just wanna give it a try
Mama, I'm been innocent for far to long!
So please give a push and mama watch me fly!
Watch me fly!

One day I will meet a man you won't condemn
And we will have some kids and you can torture them
But let me be a star before I take that vow!
Cause mama, I'm a big girl now

OOO
Mama, I'm a big girl now
Hey, ya, ya, ya, yay
Mama...I'm a big girl...
oo, such a big big girl
I'm a big girl...now...oooo (2x)
(stop don't no please)mama, I'm a big girl now!

音樂劇 – Hairspray

Boston Opera House

與一位朋友在大雨淋漓的星期五晚到Opera House 看音樂劇 Hairspray（按此到官方網站）。也許正因為連日大雨，將來記得的，是我們不畏風吹雨打的精神！

不久前去過Boston Opera House 看歌聲魅影（Phantom of the Opera） ，猶記得這歌劇院很漂亮，牆上有雕塑，有壁畫，有吊燈，我很喜歡觀賞那精緻的手工。那次我們坐劇院正廳的後座，今次節儉，買了第二便宜的樓座票。我們從其他觀眾學會了一件事，如果表演開始後，前面有空位，坐後排得可以向前移，據一位做舞臺劇的觀眾說，演員不喜歡看到空座位，一舉兩得。結果，我們搬到中樓座，值回票價。

Hairspray 是有關六十年代初，一個非常正面但常常逃學的肥妹仔Tracy追尋她的夢想：克服別人對肥人的偏見，成為一個青少年電視歌舞節目的一份子和跟節目中最英俊的男孩子拍拖。成名之後，她發現六十年代初美國的種族不平衡不公平，她想改變為那種社會型態，實現她能與她的黑人朋友在電視節目中一起跳舞的理想。整個故事鼓勵一些被當時社會奇異目光對待的人，打破傳統，爭取社會的接受。

突然間，Hairspray令我想起另一套戲：Circle of Friends。我特別喜歡Hairspray中跳躍的舞蹈和音樂，令我巴不得想跳舞，不停跳，不停扭。我一向喜歡五六十年代的服裝，例如Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis和Audrey Hepburn的衣著。有時，我也希望可以像肥妹仔一樣，勇敢面對，積極人生。劇中也有很多有趣輕鬆的對白，觀眾們拍爛手掌，令人會心微笑，有時甚至大笑。肥妹仔Tracy 令我想起一個老朋友，一樣活潑，一樣可愛。結局當然是開心大團圓啦！

如果我可以好似肥妹仔般能跳又能唱就好了。唔，忽然有想學做舞臺劇的念頭！臨老學吹笛‧‧‧

Fertility Rate

Finally, I have a chance to take a look at the U.S. Census Bureau American Community Survey (click here for the survey). In the study, there is information about fertility rates according to race and age. The fertility rates are calculated as number of births per 1,000 women.

The nation’s total fertility rate is 69.6 births per 1,000 women. Hispanic has the highest rate (93.5). This correlates to a study earlier that Hispanic will become the majority in the United States years later. As expected, Non-Hispanic White has the lowest fertility rate (63.3). Asian or Pacific Islander has the second lowest fertility rate (70.9).

Looking at fertility rates in terms of age, even though it is expected, I am still a bit taken back by this hard cold finding. For the 30 to 34 age group, the fertility rate is 100.6. For the next age group, ages 35 to 39, the rate drops more than 50% down to 50.2. For the 40 to 44 age group, the rate drops further to 14.2. The downward slope is very steep. Biological clock is ticking very cruelly.

Let’s say a woman from Massachusetts marries for the first time at the median age of 27.4. If she plans to have a child, she needs to give birth by age 34 because the fertility rate drops drastically afterwards. According to another study on marriages and divorces of the population in 2001 (click here for the report), on average, the first marriages that end in divorce last about 8 years (instead of 7 year itch). Assuming that after 8 years of marriage, the couple would stay married forever. If this woman gives birth by age 34, she is still at risk of getting a divorce by age 35.4.

It is definitely not good to become a single parent unexpectedly (planned single parenthood does not count). This is risky business! One must have faith that things will work out.

Estimated Age for First Marriage

US Census Bureau just published the estimated median age at first marriage (click here to view the statistics). The nation’s median first marriage age is 26.7 for men and 25.1 for women. Massachusetts has the second oldest first marriage age (men at 29.1 and women at 27.4) after Washington DC (men at 30.1 and women at 29.9). Utah has the youngest first marriage age (men at 23.9 and women at 21.9). Keep in mind that median is a number that separates the higher and lower halves of the population. When I have time, I would see if the Census provides more information.

Some people say the marriage age is tied to education and location. Forbes.com has put together a list of best cities for singles (click here to view the report). Boston ranks the second after Denver. It could be because Boston is ranked the best in terms of culture. Probably due to academics, people are in general more receptive of new ideas. No one gives singletons a strange look in Boston because there are a lot of them. There are a lot of things to do even if one does not have a relationship. Perhaps, this further validates why I am still happily single!

牛仔褲

每次去陶瓷工作室，我都會穿舊衫褲，包括一條中學時代穿的高腰窄腳牛仔褲，是昔日流行的Puma（又披露了年齡的秘密）。朋友們都覺得很神奇，也覺得我身體發育有問題，連中學時代的褲也仍然穿得上！反正都是粗著，又不是要見白馬王子，不管甚麼時裝潮流了。

一次到服裝店買牛仔褲，我望著店中很大的牛仔褲部門呆了，我只是想要一條普普通通的牛仔褲，根本不知道如何入手。選擇多得不得了：Boot Cut、Straight Fit、Natural Fit、 Loose Fit 、Low-Rise 、Ultra Low-Rise ‧‧‧還有拉鍊、釦鈕和顏色未計呢！何時牛仔褲變得這麼多樣化的？

早幾年前回大學招聘，看到大學生所穿的極長極寬牛仔褲覺得很嘔心，褲腳不但拖地，褲頭闊得褲快掉下來了，而且底褲露出。跟著幾年，女孩子們穿得極度低腰牛仔褲，當她們彎腰或蹲下時，露出屁股縫隙，很難看。身材苗條的還好，肥肥的車呔加上那走光的肥屁股（別誤會，肥絕對不是罪過），那就影響市容了。

今天看到一個大喜訊，當低腰牛仔褲低得無何再低時，褲頭又開始向上移，很快，那些肉酸的屁股縫隙便會陸續消失。太好了！熱切期待！值得載歌載舞慶祝。


Jeans lowdown: Waistbands are inching up
By Olivia Barker, USA Today
Tue Oct 11, 6:45 AM ET

Waistlines are inching up on hemlines as fashion's barometer. Navel-obscuring in the '80s, they were navel-baring a few years ago, and this fall they're creeping up toward the bellybutton again.

Hipbone-hugging styles still dominate mall racks and high school hallways. But the fashion-forward flock is donning pants and jeans that graze the ribcage, as paraded on recent Fashion Week runways. And the rest of us are realizing that pant choice shouldn't have to dictate underwear choice.

Retailers are responding, not just because higher waists are fashionable but also because consumers are demanding them. Hence, the emergence of "midrise" or "classic rise." In ads and in stores, manufacturers are grouping their wares by rise rather than wash or leg cut.

…

自己攞嚟忙

與一位朋友通電郵約吃飯，朋友剛出差回來一個禮拜，他說隔一個禮拜又要飛往芝加哥工幹，一向只是他周圍飛，我在波士頓正常作息，所以要碰頭都會將就他的時間表。可是，今回當我打開我的日曆時，十月份可以調動相聚的週末，只有這星期五六日，還沒把一個音樂劇和一個生日飯局計算在內呢。曾經一段時間，差不多每個週末都跟他去吃喝玩樂，在他頻頻出差的這段日子，不知不覺，我已經把自己的時間表填得密密麻麻了。

雖然未認識他前我已經很忙碌，如今看到自己的時間表更嚇一驚，另一位朋友笑我是「交際花」，無辜呀，不是有意的。我又不是那種坐不定的人，倒非常渴望可以偷閒留在家中。認識我久的人都知道我很低調，喜歡當聽眾，不喜歡在派對中當照點人物，也不記得陌生人名字（這點真的要改）。一次，朋友的爸爸問：「你這麼忙，怎樣有時間做家務呢？」世伯果然聰明，答案是：「沒有。」十分尷尬。

尤其因為快要放大假，公司的事也得安排，除了公事，由現在到年底，差不多每個週末都有搞作。究竟為甚麼把私人時間弄得這麼忙碌呢？我也不懂。一次被問：「你到底有沒有試過一整天待在家呢？」答案是：「有！當我病倒的時候‧‧‧」老是覺得時間不夠，想盡量吸收事物，欣賞世界，有很多東西等著我來學，短短一世人，時間不夠用。一直都學不會怎樣取捨，所以時間表便變成這樣，活該。

Adoption

Some people really want their children to be biologically related to them. For some reason, growing up, I have no such preference. Eons ago my first boyfriend was taken back when I mentioned I did not mind adopting a child if I were too old to bear one. I guess he, just like a lot of people, would prefer a little him or little me running around. To me, it would be nice, but not necessary. If it is meant for me not to have a child of my own for whatever reason, I am willing to adopt when I am financially and mentally ready to take on another little life.

Recently, a friend of mine started a job helping families through the adoption process. Out of curiosity, I decide to learn more about adoption. There is a lot more than just traveling overseas to pick up a child and then raise him or her like your own. Before the adoption, there are tons of paper work and counseling involved. Raising an adopted child seems to be more challenging. This is because the majority of the adopted children have the feeling of neglect and rejection. There are also studies about how they might have low self-esteem and insecurity issues that affect their future upbringing and relationship.

At this particular moment, I am no where near financially ready to adopt. In fact, I am not sure if I am strong enough to handle the psychological hurdle of an adopted child. The more that I read about the different studies, the sadder that I feel for the children. One needs more soul searching before making such a decision. Otherwise, it is not fair to the adopted child. If I were to adopt a child, I would want him or her to grow up healthily and give the world to him or her just like a biological parent would. I definitely do not want a child to feel that he or she is salvaged by me.

Anyway, when I half joked with my friends at the hospital about the thought of adoption, one was not opposed to the idea. One exclaimed, “What?! Get your own! You need to meet someone, get married and have your own kid. Are you sure there is no guy for you?” Then, they both started to recommend men around them.

“What about xxxx, the biologist, who asked you out?”

“He hid one important fact from me that he’s married.”

“What about that psychologist?”

“No chemistry. Didn’t work out.”

“yyyy and you would look so cute together.”

“Yes, he is sweet, but too young.”

“Age wouldn’t matter! yyyy is smart and nice. Besides, you do not look your age.”

“Thanks! Been there, done that.”

“What about zzzz? He is so adorable and mature.”

“Huh? Who is he? I don’t think I have met him.”

“Anyway, yyyy and zzzz are both going to be doctors… I think you would like zzzz.”
…

What great friends that I have! At least they know I can’t stand unintelligent men. Hmmm, now I am a little intrigued by this zzzz.

Happy Sunflowers

This is one of the five additional arrangements I made after class using the leftover flowers. There is one in the kitchen, one on top of the wine rack, one on the coffee table, one in the bathroom, and one on the nightstand.

Moribana – Before

The big branch with dark leaves is shin. The eucalyptus looking branch is soe. The yellow flowers are tai. I was staring at this arrangement for a long time because I felt that shin, soe, and tai were so apparent. I also felt that something was missing in the middle. It seemed empty. However, I like the simplicity and the tranquil feel.

Moribana – After

A rather fuzzy picture…

My teacher thought my arrangement was fine before, but she put an extra branch with dark leaves on the right because I told her I felt that it lacked something. It lacked continuation. Then, the hardest part came – trimming the leaves. I am not brave enough to cut. I do not know what to cut to make the arrangement look better. I feel that if I cut the wrong ones, I cannot go back. It is just like spilled water. I am too risk averse.

Important lesson from my teacher: if I am not brave enough to make mistakes, I will never learn!

I guess life is the same way?

Daring “Snow White”

I received a call from a girl friend during my pottery class about going to dim sum after my class (totally not prepared for this). In my sloppy studio work clothes and messy hairdo, we had lunch. Somehow during lunch, my friends talked me into going to apple picking with them. Just the day before, I declined an invitation to apple picking simply because I am allergic to raw apples (thus, the analogy of Snow White). I have not had a raw apple for years. It would be too torturing to see the apples and not being able to eat them. For some reason, these people are very convincing… Or, I was just weak! I figured, “Oh well, I would just go there, take some pictures, and document the apple picking activities.”

The apple orchard is in Stow, Mass. The deal is: you buy an empty plastic bag (forgot how much, around $15?) and you pick however many apples/pears the plastic bag could hold. Before apple picking, one can eat the produce to see if he/she likes the taste. To my surprise, my friends could tell the many different kinds of apples. One friend is also allergic to apples. I saw her picking and eating them, and she seemed to be fine! Extremely tempted… Reminds me of what happened to Eve in the Garden of Eden… I was practically drooling. Then, I was offered a tiny little red apple. Oh, it looked so cute! Holding it, staring at it for a while, I took a bite. Aw… DELICIOUS!

My friends were very concerned. They wondered if they had to take me to the hospital. They tried to stop me from eating the rest of the apple. My theory was that I already had one bite and might as well finish the rest. Why waste? If I had an allergic reaction because of that one bite, I wanted to finish the apple. They caringly asked me throughout the trip if I felt fine. Well, other than my lips being a bit numb, I felt fine. I know I am weak. If I were to do something stupid, I might as well do it when I have no burden. I love food. To me, not being able to eat whatever I want is tough. Besides, allergic reaction has different levels. I know I would not dare to do the same to a walnut.

Here are the pictures of the apple picking trip:
http://gigglesworld-2005applepicking.blogspot.com/

日本花道──盛花

上過今學期第一堂的生花(Ikebana)，一如過往，老師為了教新學員，第一課總是教盛花(moribana)。據老師說，盛花是生花的基本，字面意思是堆積，可以學真(shin)、副(soe)、體(tai)的概念，除了角度、長度、跟約略的擺放位置外，不必受太多限制。圖為老師的示範。

盛花──「整容前」

我記得老師說過，花的數目需要單數。高的藍色花是真，第二高的紅色花是副，短的藍色花是體，因為盛花講求深度，所以放一朵橙色花在後面，增加深度，整個擺設又順序感，然後由黃色花蕾和羊齒科葉作為襯托。

盛花──「整容後」

老師把花拉開一點，增加空間，然後把一枝羊齒葉放在高處，作為下面的大羊齒葉的連結。總括來說，老師今次沒有怎樣移動我的作品，看來她與我的想法差不多，我十分高興！